The love algorithm. Date by coder

The love algorithm. Date by coder

In the life of every programmer comes such a moment that happiness is no longer enough just a computer, a cool keyboard and a mouse. It turns out that even the console is not enough. Suddenly coding is no longer as enjoyable as it used to be, and solving programming problems is no longer exciting. At this point, the red light in the head of the encoder should light up. Something bad is happening. Just what?! How can a real programmer behave in such a situation? Above all, he can draw on his experience.

Problem definition

The first step in working on a new project is to define the problem you want to solve. Not otherwise can be also in this case. A good programmer does not give up, analyzes, considers various possibilities and recognizes the problem. Wait, wait, comp is, new apps are, tons of written lines of code – also, female – none, keyboard… come back! A woman?

At this point, the second red light in the programmer’s head should light up. And it is known that every two lamps is not one. One more quick analysis, then another and another. The sweat is pouring down the coder’s forehead, his hands are trembling more and more. Unfortunately, each time the thought algorithm stubbornly returns only one result: a woman. But as a woman, so is love. Like love, it’s also a relationship. The programmer then hits the computer and nervously enters in Google the query: “how to meet a woman?”. After 2 hours of browsing dozens of websites and following many threads on forums, the coder comes to the conclusion that a date will be necessary. So we know what, but we don’t know who.

Defining an action plan and designing algorithms

Once the problem has been identified, the programmer must prepare a detailed action plan that will lead him to a fully functional final product, that is, a relationship. Before the individual stages of the work are developed, before all dating algorithms are designed, it is necessary to find a suitable candidate who will take part in the venture. The programmer looks to the left-Adam. He looks to the right-Krzysiek. He looks across, above the monitor-Mateo. Look over your shoulder-Adrian. The probability of finding a suitable candidate in the team of developers turns out to be as small as hitting a six in LOTTO. Unfortunately, developers are still a minority in the IT world. However, the programmer is not an idiot and will always find a solution.

So, first he searches in Google, analyzes the documentation of love affairs, tries to himself timidly establish contact with one or the other lady in the queue to the cash register at a certain popular discount (admittedly, it does not work out, but at least the coder buys ten washing powders for the price of nine in the promotion), and only then begs for help on the forum. Unfortunately, StackOverflow turns out to be useless in this matter. Several other places in the network, visited every day by the coder, also.

Finally, after many days, a lady named Lola69 agrees to a date. From now on, the programmer in the sweat of his brow plans and prepares the course of the date, hoping that Lola69 he’s not gonna turn out to be a short, fat, balding man.

Project implementation

The developer likes this stage the most. That’s when he codes the most. Now he’s coding a date. But he doesn’t like that anymore. The date scares him. It drives me crazy. To neutralize this fear, Koder tries not to think about the upcoming evening. The special one. Special. After all, this is the first date with Lola 69. Everything will take place in the space pizzeri. Not the first one, but the exquisite one, which is the one on the corner. This is where they deliver pizza to the company where the programmer works every day.

So the coder is sitting at the table. From time to time he bites his nails nervously. Insistently smoothes the hair with his hand, although it is very short-cropped. He looks at the front door again and again. He’s waiting. And inside it, everything boils. He’s finally coming in. Yeah, it’s her, ‘ cause she’s smiling. And it was the smile that was supposed to be the tell-tale sign that lola69 was lola69. The coder takes off, runs. Something babble. But it’s not her. It turns out that a smile is also a hallmark of other couples.

– Hi. Is that you? – suddenly he hears the programmer behind his back.
– Yes, it’s me-the coder turns around.

No, there’s not gonna be a head-butt, there’s not gonna be a flight. It’s not a cheap romantic comedy. It’s life. Lola69 turns out to be a sympathetic woman who intrigues the programmer. The date is off.


What would it be to implement a new project and create software without debugging, without eliminating errors. Bugs always show up. Even when you can’t see them, they’re hidden somewhere. They’re lurking. They wait to crawl out at the least opportune moment. Bugs must also be present during a date. What move something does not want to compile. And this conversation doesn’t stick, and this is her and him yelling at each other. Every move something freezes, and moments of silence seem to have no end. But they both test each other’s stubbornness, test the atmosphere, the food.

Eventually they find one common theme, then another. The date takes an optimal shape, becomes functional, useful and leads inevitably to the final. Suddenly the programmer discovers with amazement that he’s… happy.!

Development of documentation

The stage that is not very popular in the implementation of projects-the development of documentation. However, the programmer has experience in this. He knows very well that stubbornly announcing that he will complete the dossier tomorrow will give him some time. It will delay the moment of action. However, eventually comes the moment that no excuses no longer work. Documentation must be written. So the programmer sits down in front of the computer and starts:

Dear Barbara, our date was really great. I was having as much fun as if I were playing “Gothica”, butchering orcs. It felt almost as good as when I started my new PS4. When our eyes met, I was as happy as when I first helped someone on StackOverflow. You’re as special as my new bike, which I ride to work every day. I wasn’t really prepared for this. Your eyes are as beautiful as the new algorithm of a friend sitting at the desk on the left (he just went out for a while to the toilet), your lips are a perfect harmony, this is a real diholt value. At the sight of them you can reboot from the impression. Yours…

Unfortunately, further documentation cannot be cited for reasons of good morals. We don’t know if our heroes lived happily ever after. They don’t reply to our e-mails.

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