Self-development. Not just technically.

Self-development. Not just technically.

Do you question yourself about this:

Who Are You?

What are you accomplishing in your life, what are you aiming for?

What roles do you play in your life, how does it work out for you, how do you feel about it?

What are you called to do?

Of course, these questions are much more, and the key is to answer them. Anyone who wants to realize themselves in their chosen areas, who wants to increase their potential or recognize their talents and skillfully use them for their own good, as well as for their environment, is waiting for a wonderful adventure called personal development.

What is personal development?

Personal development is a combination of two inseparable areas: the area related to our personality (e.g.: What are the terms: extrovert, introvert, optimist, pessimist, etc.).) and the area of our competence, ability or skills (e.g.: analytically looking at reality). Thus, whether you take actions related to the development of individual skills, for example: time management, project management or activities aimed at finding the true self, to be authentic, you invest in personal development.

Can we not develop?

Personal development is the path that we follow all our lives, so this development takes place naturally, whether we want it or not. It accompanies us throughout our lives, starting from a young child, when we acquire successively new skills: motor, social, emotional, linguistic, etc., by entering the period of maturation and becoming an adult, when we use the already acquired knowledge, we practice it, we expand by observing what and how it works, how the outside world reacts to it, what our daily life looks like, what benefits it brings for us, until the period of the decline of our life, entering old age.

We take part in various events, life events, and they provoke us to make different decisions, to take positions and to react to different situations. This causes changes, then we look at these events from a different perspective than the previous one, and this leads to our development. This development, unnoticed, unplanned, which we do not use consciously, without set goals, is unintentional development, and yet it takes place, it proceeds in an unnoticed way. On the other hand, when we reflect, notice and give it a direction, additionally setting a goal or goals, then we choose the path of intentional, intentional development.

What to bet on in personal development?

If you look closely at yourself, you will probably notice that your personal development can be based on two extreme areas: developing your potential or working on your so-called “weaknesses”. Consistently engaging in work on these spheres leads to an increase in the level of personal development.

Let’s look into it. When you choose to develop your potential, you focus on realizing your potential, discovering your strengths and bringing them to the surface, and then managing your potential so that you can use it in many areas of your life and derive satisfaction from it. In this case, you are looking for such elements in yourself, your activity, which evokes your full, but natural commitment.

By choosing to work on your weaknesses, you make a conscious choice to develop your weaknesses to the point where they become new behaviors that will have the least negative consequences for you. Put another way: the point is that the existing “weaknesses”, after their modification, serve you and bring you tangible benefits.

Keys to effective development

There are several fundamental elements that, occurring simultaneously during the intended development process, bring with them the real effects of work. Well, I am of the opinion that whatever element of your personal development you do not begin, it should be fully derived from your inner and natural need, as well as from your self-acceptance, from your attitude to yourself, that you are all right, that you like yourself as you are, with your weaknesses and strengths, and you know that you can do more. When choosing the path of development, look at yourself, do not you feel that you are putting too much effort, or is your path too tiring for you? Effective, valuable personal development takes place when it is a pleasant and positively exciting process, and not a big expense.

Motivation and self-discipline are the other components that result in measurable self-development benefits when you manage them effectively. Motivation is a very common slogan that evokes both aversion and positive associations. This is due to the fact that we often think that it is enough to have a strong, well-realized motivation to work productively. And when it does not bring results, most often we blame ourselves and look for the blame in ourselves (slogans: “something is wrong with me”, “I have straw enthusiasm”, “I am not consistent”). No need, because if you do not introduce self-discipline into the set of tools you need, you will not achieve the desired result. As the Buddha used to say, ” in the confrontation of the stream with the rock, the stream always wins-not by its strength, but by perseverance.” The concept of self-discipline includes not only the ability to physically master your space-time, but above all the ability to search for and use your internal and external resources. This includes, among other things, the ability to rise after crises, a sense of self-actuality. What is the source of your self-discipline? These are your experiences. By recreating what you have experienced, you return to the situations you have experienced, which confirm that you have already achieved your goal in this area.

The next generator determining the effective development process is the ability to set a goal, then plan the right steps, choose supportive actions.

It is wonderful when we are able to set a goal well, program and implement actions, using our motivation, supporting ourselves with self-discipline and giving ourselves real, positive support. However, sometimes we need this support from outside.

And here we come to the aid of trainings, consultations, courses, seminars, workshops, conferences. We have great access to the press, blogs, recently more and more popular webinars and video blogs. You can work as a team or do individual work on yourself by choosing therapists, coaches, or by opting for a coaching process focused on you.

Personal development means changes, changes that you feel yourself, and often they are also visible externally, because when you raise your professional qualifications or personality skills, you spread a positive impact on your environment, thereby affecting your social competence.

You have a choice whether you prefer to follow the path, without stopping, without asking yourself questions, without consciously looking for yourself, your strengths, what makes you a better you. I call this path,”as fate leads you.” Do you want to follow a path that stimulates your consciousness to work on yourself, to skillfully manage yourself, bringing satisfaction to you and your environment?

If you answered the second question in this way, it means that you are on the way to your personal development, which I congratulate you on.

The path of intentional personal development

Conscious personal development is a process that is based on managing yourself so that you feel satisfied, both personally and professionally. It is wise to support oneself, it is the way to self-realization, self-actualization, as the well-known psychologists Maslow and Rogers say. How to see, appreciate and develop your own capabilities, how not to overestimate yourself and others, how to maintain motivation and self-discipline in everyday life, I prefer to continue on the path to the goals set for myself.

In search of your path of development, you may be accompanied by various questions. Perhaps you ask yourself what you like to do? What do you do and how do you do it? Or perhaps you ask what makes you difficult? What do you gain by improving this weakness? Is that what you’re really working towards? What is your purpose in life? Your values? What tools to choose to achieve the goal?

Each of us is full of potential. Acting on our potential gives us a sense of satisfaction, success. It brings positive emotions, it also gives the feeling that we are bringing something of value to the environment in which we live.

And what is personal development for you?

Marta Andrzejewska

Life&business coach ACC, an internationally active member of ICF Luxembourg, specializes in managing the change process and releasing internal blockages.

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